he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
