I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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