She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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