so that wasnt chicken after all
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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