I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
