im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
