I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
