fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize