New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
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