He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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