We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
