We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
