How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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