Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
