your parents love me but you hate me
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
