i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
