Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
