I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
