The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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