Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
