It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
