I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
