i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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