We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize