Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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