so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize