Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
