i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
