She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
