There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
