I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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