i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
