So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
