I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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