it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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