i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
