Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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