I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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