Just cropdusted the office
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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