His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
