i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
