Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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