Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
