your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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