after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
