Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize