Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I want to fling myself into the sun
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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