When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
we're so committed to being not committed
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
