We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
