someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
