Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
