All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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