Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize