I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
