You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
