So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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