I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
she told me i tasted like america
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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