I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
