is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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