HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
