i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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