Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
