She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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