then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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